Missing her...

It is 11 p.m. and I am in our room. Allen is asleep. I am not (obviously.) I tend to get second winds late at night these days, which stinks because 5 am (Lorelei's average first feeding) comes rather early, and this morning it took an hour to get her back to sleep. Anyway, my daughter has been sleeping in her own room for a little over a week now. Maybe it was not the greatest idea to keep our baby in our room for five months. It seems that most parents do it for like 6-12 weeks. But it felt right for us. And even though the habit was harder for me to break than her, I would do it again with subsequent children. It is just such a beautiful experience. And I must say, I miss her. I miss leaning over and hearing her sigh or feeling her breathe. I miss snuggling with her after Allen left for work, or being able to just lean over and pick her up to feed. I liked having her in our room and she was never a bother to me (well until she started waking up 3-4 times a night again...that was no fun.) Now, I have the static of a monitor keeping me company, and in order to lay my hand on her back and feel it rise and fall, I need to walk across my house. It is storming tonight, and I wanted to bring her back in here to sleep, (in case she got scared,) and then I admitted that she probably has no idea it is thundering outside or what that means or that she could be afraid of it someday. So there she sleeps.



I do not know how parents who sleep on different floors of the house do it!

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