No picture today

Because I do not have one of the person I would like to honor in this post.
Last tuesday, a dear girl from our church named Lauren died. She has had a constant battle with a sick heart, and was on a list waiting for a new one. On Tuesday night, she had a heart attack and her poor sick heart could not take anymore. She is now with Jesus. She would have been 20 today.

I have been sad for days thinking about Lauren. I did not know her really well; she was too young to be in my own crowd of youth group friends, but too old to be part of the group of girls who I taught. I knew her well enough to smile at her in church and say hi, to be facebook friends, and to be so happy to hear when she got bumped up on the transplant lists. The last interaction Lauren and I had, in fact, was her commenting on my photos of Lorelei. Almost as much as a mourn her death, I mourn that I did not get to know this sweet girl better. She used to sit a few rows ahead of my family in church with her parents and her brother, and sometimes her older sister, but I most remember when she would hold her little niece during the singing. I could tell she ADORED that child. Lauren had a beautiful smile, and from what I hear, quite the wit. She challenged life; but when you think about it, life really challenged her.

The funeral was on Saturday and I was able to go. My sister watched Lorelei in the nursery so I did not have to worry about her. It was one of the most beautiful services I had ever seen, and there was no doubt in anyone's mind what Lauren believed, that she was with God, and that we could celebrate her life. There were so many beautiful and personable touches. My friend Andrea sang Lauren a song she wrote just for her. Lauren's mom and brother chose songs to have sung in tribute for her. The entire football team from her high school came in their jackets to pay respects. Lauren wore a sweatshirt and a ponytail, like she usually did (and she looked beautiful.) The gospel was preached. There was a worship service. 500+ people heard about Jesus that day. Praise God!

I have been to a few funerals before, but none of someone so young. Even so, I know this experience was different now having my own child. Lauren's mother is Lorelei's peditrician (though she has not gotten to have an office visit with her yet due to illness and scheduling.) She is a strong, beautiful and smart woman who loved her daughter dearly, and now I can relate to that love. I would move the world for my daughter and if I ever lost her, a piece of my heart would die. As I heard this dear woman cry for her baby, my heart cried with her and I wanted to hold my own baby tight. Thank you, Lauren's mother, for helping me realize a new facet of a mother's love.

On Sunday, the family was in church. I was surprised to see them, but then I was not. The church is their family and the people who have been seeing them through this struggle. We are missing Lauren together. As I stood to the side of the crowd who was giving Lauren's mom hugs and condolences, holding my sleeping girl wrapped in a handmade blanket, she saw me. She passed her Bible and belongings to someone nearby and said "I need to see this baby!" I tenderly passed my daughter to her doctor, a fellow mother, and watched this mother who had just lost her own daughter love my baby ever so sweetly. She spoke tender words to her and promised to come be her doctor soon. She told me that it was Lauren who showed her Lorelei's pictures on facebook, introducing my baby to her. My baby and I got to help this wonderful, strong mother smile, and I will always treasure that moment.

I praise God for Lauren. For her life, and her testimony. Because of her, so many heard the gospel of Jesus. Even in a life where she had to fight every day, she still saught Him. Happy birthday, Lauren.